well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My ass is underappreciated
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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