so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I still have a little drunk in my system
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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