Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sext me about skeletons
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