69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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