I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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