Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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