Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
