No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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