Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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