he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
there is glitter all over my balls
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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