Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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