Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
