You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
