And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
