he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
