dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize