that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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