I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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