I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
