is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
