So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
