This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
