I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
