this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize