He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
