Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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