I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You're like the curious george of whores
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
