Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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