I faked an abortion last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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