I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
