I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you told grandpa to call you daddy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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