I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone signed my nipple.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
