apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
