The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
