never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize