The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
