I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
