This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
