Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
