Don't you send me to vm
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
