3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize