if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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