im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My dick has a subreddit
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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