He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
