Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
