I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
