I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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