try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
