I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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