Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
