i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
