its not stalking. its research.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
