Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
