i barfeds in our rink
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
