remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
