Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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