Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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