her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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