So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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