Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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