GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
