You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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