yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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