Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize