I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
