how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
