Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
