I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
