Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
