Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
