I bet he comes in French.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
