What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
