Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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