just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize