i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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