the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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