Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
