Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
