Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my shit smells like andre
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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